Blah

I hate what I've become.

Life is a roller coaster.

So it's been forever since I posted anything. Lol. It's been crazy. I'm in a not so good mood right now and I'm bored so I figured I'd write a blog to take my mind off some things. At least for a little while. I need to go to the bank and to the post office and then pay the phone bill. Jared started Pre-K this week. I'm a little worried about him but I know he's gonna do awesome. I went bowling last weekend with my sister and some friends and had a blast. The next day my mom calls me into her room and says, 'Next time you bowl with Heidi you need to dumb down a little.' LOL. She didn't break a hundred at all and I broke a hundred twice. All of a sudden I'm typing in italics and the button isn't even on. Lol Oh yeah! I cut my hair two weeks ago and donated it to Locks of Love. I took off about 12 inches. I saw a picture the next day that I had taken before I cut it and I was like ' It's gone!' Lol. I love it though.

Summer!

So the past two days have been awesome! Thursday I had my "other" family over for dinner. Helped my mommy cook Sweet and Sour. It's a lot of work. Lol. And today I spent all day with my little sister. She got a haircut and then we went to Plato's Closet in Layton. Then we picked up my nephews and went out to eat and took Heidi's car to the car wash. And bought some windshield covers at Wal-Mart. She woke me up early but I'm glad I went. Lol. I love my sister!! And then I watched a LIVE webcast of NKOTB in concert in Dallas. I felt like an 8 year old girl again. Lol. I can't say this enough, I love my life right now!. I'm making so much progress with my anxiety and depression. I can now drive without feeling (too) nervous. And I'm happy. I have soooo much to be thankful for. I love my family and my friends. I would be nothing without them. Live, Laugh, Love!!!

It's hot!!

Could life be any better at this point? Yes I'm going through heck with my anxiety and my sister and a few other things. But I have family that loves me and I have friends that love me. And I have the Gospel. How can you be bitter and upset with family, friends and the Gospel? It would be all too easy to just let it all get to me and become depressed and angry and bitter. But I don't want to feel that anymore. It feels so much better to be happy and loved and to love others. I love life!!

Summer!

So school is out. My sister and I are trying to figure out ways to keep my nephews occupied and out of trouble until school starts again. We're gonna be taking them to the zoo and the Aquarium in Sandy and who knows what else. Maybe we'll do another scavenger hunt around Salt Lake. I remember summer vacations of my childhood. Excited to get back to school but nervous also. Lol. So in my last blog I mentioned an opportunity to fly to Cali again for a couple of months. I won't be going. If I put off my plans now they'll never come up again. This just isn't a good time to go. At least not for two months. Maybe I'll go out for a weekend or something. We'll see. I cannot type today. I keep having to erase letters. Lol.

The Nerve of Some People...

So isn't it nice how some people can take advantage of your kindness and lie to your face without even blinking?. I found out today that a girl I thought was my friend has been lying to me for two months. I'd be first to admit that I can sometimes be too nice. But I didn't think any of my friends could do that. It hurt bad but I don't hate her. I wish her luck with whatever she decides to do from here on out and that she can straighten herself out. Other than that I've had an amazing week. I got to see my auntie that I haven't seen for a year. And I've just been happy all week. It feels good to be happy. Lol I have the opportunity to spend a couple months in Cali again this summer. I want to but I don't know if now is the right time. I've got plans for the summer that I could put off for a few months but I don't know if I want to. I guess I have some things to work out. Lol. Anywho. Off to bed. Peace out!!

NKOTB

So I should be sleeping but I had to blog. I am quite proud of myself. I did my first Sharing Time for Primary at church. I had a headache all afternoon cause I was so stressed. lol But I did it!! So on Saturday night my mom and I went to the Cultural Celebration for the Oquirrh Mountain Utah Temple. It was amazing!!! Best performance I've ever seen in my life. Honestly. I felt the Spirit soo strongly. 7,000 youths from that Temple District performed. I'd go into detail but I should go to sleep. Lol. I love my life and the people in it!!!! I am so thankful for all that I have and all that I am.

Funny Story.

So this morning my little sister was home cause she didn't work today. She left for the bank without her phone but I didn't know until it went off. So I'm like 'I have to tell her she left her phone home.' So I text her telling her she left it home and then I'm like 'Wait a second, that isn't gonna do any good if she doesn't have her phone.' So then I had to laugh at myself. And the day is only half over. Lol. I had to blog it. I know I'm special.

3 in a row!

So this week has been a roller coaster. Wednesday I found out my uncle passed away. From MS. Thursday I woke up sick. And yesterday I drove up to Idaho with my sister, mom and brother for the funeral. Woke up at 3:30 in the morning so we could leave at 4. Lol. I even drove! An hour up and about 45 minutes on the way back. And killed a gopher on the way up. Lol. At least that's what we think it was. I didn't really see it. We saw family we haven't seen for years. It was awesome. The drive wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. We stopped on the way to see the Snake River. Gorgeous! We wanted to find the Shoshone Falls but got lost. Lol. It was awesome. I had fun. My nephew is reading over my shoulder. Lol.

Yes, another one so soon. lol

What is it with drivers these days? I was on my way home from Julie's tonight headed down 5th North and this guy comes careening off 13th west, (I think), and heads straight for our lane. We had to veer to the right and almost jumped the curb. He was literally like an inch from hitting us. And then he keeps going. I was shaking for awhile afterwards. And people wonder why I don't like to drive. Lol. Luckily there weren't any cars parked along the side of the road. Which is a rarity. Lol.
So anywho, for the past few days I've been youtubing old music videos I used to watch. Mostly New Kids on the Block. Sometimes I miss the good ole' days. Lol. Sometimes that seems like so long ago. Lol. I'm getting old. So I think I'm gonna start bike riding to try and get back into shape. I've been on a bike once since I was thirteen so we'll see how it goes. Lol. I keep thinking of more vidoes to look up. Lol. It's so much fun! Well, I guess I'd better head to bed. I have a doctor appointment early in the morning. 'Night!

Here it is almost May. And i have to ask, Why me? My sister is an idiot and I can't do anything. She's throwing a fit crying like a baby. She gets herself into situations and then blames it on me. I can't do this anymore. Why did I sign myself up for this? Besides that, my life is going nowhere and I feel totally helpless. Why couldn't I be put in a family with no Heather? I feel like I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown. I don't wanna do this anymore. And I don't feel like there is anyone I can talk to that would even remotely understand. I need help and I don't know what to do.

It's been awhile.

So it's been so long since I posted anything that I had to reset my password cause I couldn't remember it. Lol. I went to Cali for three weeks and had a blast. I got to see some friends that I hadn't seen for two years. I went bowling with Mandie. Tradition for us. Lol. I suck but I had tons of fun. I got a cold the week before I flew home. The day after I got home I got ear infections in both ears. I couldn't get to sleep until my dad gave me a blessing at 4:30 in the morning. And I took 4 ibuprofen. The meds I was put on wreaked havoc with my body. Sometimes side effects are worse than whatever you're taking them for. Lol. That was two weeks ago and I think I'm back to normal. Lol.